WTF

Loyal Followers,
Sorry for my absence. There have been some... new developments.
As part of step two in my master plan, I need an adorable little girl with a warm heart and a cherubic, guileless smile. I found just such a girl quite easily in SUSIE SUNBUTTER. She was perfect.
And she was in my Little Girl Cage, ready to be taken into the Little Girl Section of my dungeon, when her normally overly ambitious and slightly neglectful father decided to, I don't know, turn over a new leaf or something. He came home on time for the first time ever with some little bunny or something to give to Susie.
And he saw me there, and hit the Save Me Captain Hero Alarm Button that I guess somehow he has, and so of course that unbearable douche drip shows up before I can kill anyone, and stands between me and my quarry (which now includes the good Scientist).
Okay, no biggie, right? I've got the soul separating ray gun with attached storage compartment at my fingertips. Nobody is invincible to it. I don't LIKE to kill, per se, but an evilly deformed villain has to have priorities.
So I fire it and guess who dies?
Captain Hero! Sweet!
and guess how many souls I have inside of my gun?
NO SOULS AT ALL.
That's right. Not even one soul.
The soul of Captain Hero would have made it so that I could completely forget about having to take the KillDozer to that orphanage in Yonkers.
The soul of Captain Hero was the next part of my plan and his soul is the ONLY SOUL THAT WILL WORK INSIDE OF MY CAPTAIN HERO SOUL OPERATED WORLD CONQUERING MACHINE.
So, anyway.
I called tech support, and I was like "where's my soul, dude?" And they sent our Yakhim to check out what was wrong with my soul separating ray gun with attached storage compartment, and Yakhim goes "it works just fine". So I killed him, and guess what? He was right! When I checked the jar, there was his soul.
So anyway, I fed the soul to my Lair Beast and now I'm just trying to figure out where Captain Hero's soul went. Because seriously, guys, I need that soul.
So if you see it, just - I don't know, post a comment or something, okay?
Thanks.
Clip, Snip, Conquer,
The Claw